I had been so anxious lately about getting my PRF because, as I said in the previous post, it meant the difference between getting promoted and being asked to retire. I was disappointed last year when I didn’t make it in the “primary zone” board and knew that my chances “above the zone” were extremely small (literally 2%). So I had been mentally preparing myself for retirement, while still holding out a glimmer of hope for promotion. But the more I thought about it, the thought of retirement, even with the realization that I’d have to find a new job/career, started sounding better and better to me. For the most part I’ve enjoyed being in the military. It’s had its advantages, but I think I was starting to burn out on it. The PCS moves got harder and harder. I’ve had my limit of supervisors/commanders telling me I’m the best thing since sliced bread, then “forgetting” to give me a decent stratification or include annual and quarterly awards on my annual evaluations (OPRs) (Note from Val: These are awards he has actually won, but weren't entered into his official record somehow. It's been a lot of work for Eric to retroactively get them entered, and then theydisappeared again.). And I’ve gotten too tired of hoping in an assignment and promotion system that I don’t understand and have no control over.
So when I received my PRF a few days ago and saw that it had a “Promote” recommendation, I had a lot of mixed feelings, but general acceptance. On one hand, I was disappointed again that I didn’t receive a “Definitely Promote”. I had hoped to make Lt Col, work a few more years in the Air Force, then retire. I know I’m as good or better than half of the Lt Col’s I’ve seen or worked with, but I just didn’t make it through the system. But, I also know that I’ve been burning out on the Air Force for a little while now and it’s probably a good thing to just move on. Sure, I’m nervous about finding another job. I haven’t had to find and be accepted for a full-time job since signing recruitment papers in 1987. But I’m also kind of excited about doing something different and hopefully doing that thing for several years, so I can have the mental stability of doing the same job and becoming an expert in something. Every 3-year assignment has been a different job and even within those assignments, I’ve had different jobs. So, in the summer of 2011, I’ll be 42 and will start a new career; one that will hopefully settle us down for a longer timeframe (especially since the kids will be starting high school and middle school respectively).
So for my remaining 15 months in the Air Force, I’m officially ROAD (retired on active duty). Most often that’s a negative description of a guy that doesn’t care about doing any work for the Air Force because he knows it won’t help his career or he’s just counting down the days until he officially separates from the Air Force. I will still have a positive attitude and do my full job and help others to do their jobs well; I like doing meaningful work and improving the product or process, but I know my priorities will change somewhat. I’ve got to job hunt and I want the family and I to travel and experience and enjoy as much of Europe as possible while we’re there. Hopefully I won’t become the negative connotation of ROAD, but I’ll be ROAD none-the-less as I start trying to plan for the next career. Yikes, how do civilians do it?
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